User blog:Exotoro/DONKEY KONG: DEEPEST LORE?

Donkey Kong is one of the most complicated lores that Nintendo has ever thought up.

I mean let's look at where it begins here. Donkey Kong, 1981. Where it all begins.



''The eponymous Donkey Kong character is the game's de facto villain. Donkey Kong is the pet of a carpenter named Jumpman (later Mario). (The name Jumpman was chosen for its similarity to Walkman and Pac-Man.) The carpenter mistreats the ape, so Donkey Kong escapes and kidnaps Jumpman's girlfriend, originally known as the Lady, but later named Pauline (with the name likely taken from a series of films dating back as early as 1914, The Perils of Pauline). The player must take the role of Jumpman and rescue the girl. This was the first occurrence of the damsel in distress scenario that would provide the template for countless video games to come.''

So Jumpman not only owns Donkey Kong, but also abused him enough that Donkey Kong decided to kidnap his girlfriend named Pauline. That's a pretty far cry from his modern counterpart...



So what happened exactly? Donkey Kong Jr. attempts to give us some answers but only opens up even more questions...

''After the events of Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong has been captured by Mario as revenge for kidnapping his girlfriend and Donkey Kong Jr. has to save him. Donkey Kong Jr. will travel through four stages from the jungle to the big city to get his father back, climbing vines, avoiding enemies and jumping on platforms along the way. However, every time Donkey Kong Jr. gets close to freeing DK, Mario just pushes him further away.''

''Finally in the big city, Mario is on top of a sky-scraper similar to 100m from the last game and Donkey Kong Jr. has to put six keys into their keyholes to free his dad and make the platform they're standing on disappear. Donkey Kong and Mario both fall down and Donkey Kong Jr. catches Donkey Kong but Mario just hits the ground. Donkey Kong Jr. carries his dad off-screen and then Mario gets up and runs after them, only to be kicked right back out by Donkey Kong, forcing him to flee. ''

Donkey Kong Jr. frees his father from the metal cagey prison. After this, he goes into a greenhouse and... ''Stanley (スタンリー Sutanrii in Japanese) is a bugman. Donkey Kong has taken refuge in his greenhouse and it is now up to Stanley to stop the ape from stirring up any more insects that will soon destroy his flowers. Stanley saves the flowers by spraying bug spray on Donkey Kong.''

''The game is a shooter which incorporates ideas from Space Firebird, an earlier Nintendo arcade game, and adapts them into a new setting.

''Donkey Kong hangs from vines at the center of the screen, and the player-controlled Stanley the exterminator runs and jumps on platforms beneath him. Stanley can fire bug spray at both Donkey Kong and insects flying around the levels. A level is completed by continually using bug spray on Donkey Kong, forcing him to the top of the screen, or by killing all of the bugs. A super spray can on the vines falls down when Donkey Kong is sprayed past it. The super spray only lasts for a limited number of shots, but it pushes Donkey Kong upward at a much faster rate, making it easier to complete the level. It only appears at the start of each life.''

''The insects are buzzbees, beespies, queen bees (which shatter into deadly pieces when destroyed), creepy caterpillars, butterflies, beetles, moths, beebombs and vine eaters. Some of the flying insects attempt to pick up the flowers at the bottom of the screen and carry them away. This decreases the bonus at the end of the round.''

There are three levels which repeat in a fixed sequence.

Forever. Donkey Kong is hanging on those vines for eternity while Stanley the Bugman sprays him. We call this the Great Bug War. If this insanity is blowing your shit, you're not alone but just bear with me.

Donkey Kong Jr is nowhere to be found. And that is where we must begin shitting out of our asses and make stuff up... we call this The Great Banana Split, and it doesn't just cover Donkey Kong...

TIMELINE 1

Donkey Kong Jr. looks for his father in the city. This goes on for a while until he is a fully grown Donkey Kong. He is enlisted as a Wrestler...

...and then meets Mario again.

''Mario has become so famous and popular that he has decided to establish the Mario Toy Company, which has developed a new toy called the Mini-Mario. As Donkey Kong surfs through the channels of his television set, he sees a commercial for the Mini-Marios. Donkey Kong instantly adores the toys and heads to the Toy Store, but finds that they are sold out. Donkey Kong turns around and sees the Mario Toy Company, deciding to loot the store. The store is managed by Toads, but they do nothing to stop Donkey Kong from stealing the toys. Mario then notices Donkey Kong and starts chasing him.''

''After Mario chases Donkey Kong for a while, he eventually checks his bag, only to see all the Mini-Marios he stole have dropped, with Mario, the toys, and the three Toad employees laughing at him. Enraged, he grabs the three Toads, climbs the building, and Mario rescues the three Toads while fighting Donkey Kong. Upon his defeat, he falls off onto a truck full of Mini-Marios and steals thirty-six more, now with keys attached. Mario gives chase once again, until a similar cutscene occurs in which he checks the bag again. Only Mario laughs until six Mini-Marios come out. Donkey Kong then grabs the Minis with a giant robot, to which Mario promptly frees while fighting Donkey Kong, eventually wrecking the machine and electrocuting Donkey Kong in the process. After that, Mario is about to scold Donkey Kong for what he did, but finds that Donkey Kong is crying in pity and shame. Mario cheers him up by giving him a free Mini-Mario. Donkey Kong gets what he has wanted all along while Mario and the remaining Mini-Marios celebrate.''

But hold the fuck on. Mario and Toads? What the hell happened?

To be continued...